Real Story of my Cuckolding
This is a real-life story, not a fantasy piece.
Basically, it's a diary which I kept of my cuckolding; it consists of posts I made to my old yahoo group (which the fine folks at yahell deleted); chats I had with a good friend, "A"; and emails to and from my wife's lovers.
My wife Cassie is my mistress, and after 23 years of marriage she's come to expect to be served. By the way, there is nothing more erotic than a woman who is totally relaxed in her dominance, and Cassie is that.
December 28, 1998
(posted to the Yahoo Cuckold Club)
I've written many fantasy stories, but this isn't one of them. My wife and I are entering into a serious discussion about finding someone to please her, and I thought our situation might be of interest to others here.
Our relationship is somewhat unorthodox. My wife has been my Mistress since we first started living together 11 years ago. We've become used to this way of life, although we aren't always in the active roles of Mistress and slave. We're still best friends who enjoy playing cards, board games, watching comedies - and, best of all, spending time together.
That doesn't mean she isn't my Mistress 24 hours a day. She is. My wife is the undisputed head of our household, although sometimes I'm stubborn and try to assert my independence. I always regret it afterward - and she always ends up getting her way.
Anyway, like I said, we've become quite used to this way of life, and Mistress's dominance is starting to assert itself in "real" situations as well. Some of the things she does to me take some getting used to. For instance, this Christmas, we were setting up the Santa Claus toys for our boy, and every time I made a suggestion, she just waved her hand and dismissed me. She didn't even give it a second thought, and although I was steaming, she didn't seem to notice. It's not exactly the most erotic thing in the world - but it's one more way my wife's dominance is moving out of the bedroom and into our everyday lives.
Anyway, I tend to ramble. But I've told you all this to get to the matter at hand: my impending cuckoldry.
Since the beginning, our sex life has consisted of my orally worshipping her, both front and back, while she kicks back, relaxes, reads a Variations magazine, watches a porno movie, or whatever else she wants. Our "foreplay" often involves me on my knees at the foot of her bed ("her bed" - that's the term we use, without even thinking about it anymore), giving her a long foot massage. Then I worship my Mistress for an hour or so, depending on whether she wants to wait awhile or have a quick orgasm. After she cums, she'll roll over and have me kiss her ass or give her a soft rim-job while she relaxes and "comes down" from her climax.
Her fantasies always involve black men - aggressive types, not submissive like me - who seduce her, then fuck her silly. Sometimes I'm in her fantasies, always as the slave husband.
We used to make love (that is, normal intercourse) once every two or three months. I'm finding it difficult to fuck my Mistress; after all these years, I've become intimidated by her. I never had an impotence problem before, but I find myself getting soft when I try to fuck my wife.
Cassie's starting to get frustrated. And, as my overall slavery continues to seep its way into our everyday relationship, she's beginning to wonder if it might not be a good idea to live out our shared fantasy of finding a strong black man to pin her down and give her the proper man-style fucking that I know I'll never be able to give her.
We've actually had a few serious conversations about this, and I think we're getting closer to seeing it to fruition. There are real-life issues to consider, of course, not the least of them being our child. In no way will we ever introduce another man in our home life. But, my wife said, what would be the big deal if mommy went out to her "friend's" house once a month or so? We would have to be discreet, but it could work out.
Here's our plan: we're going to start out slow, as one of my Net pen pals suggested. In the next week or so, we're going to have what we call a "Mistress day." Let me explain: every once in awhile, we'll spend the entire day pampering my Mistress. Many times, on Mistress days, we'll have the grandparents watch our son, so as to give us full reign to go all out.
Anyway, on the next "Mistress Day," my wife is going to put on something sexy and we're going to go to a racially-mixed bar, where she can flirt with the black guys she loves so much. It won't be anything overt; just a subtle, harmless across-the-room flirt. I'll be sitting with her, so we probably won't be approached by anyone. Whoever she's flirting with will probably just assume I don't know she's doing it.
It's a small first step, but an important one, I think. We still haven't worked out all the details, but I'll keep you posted if you're interested.
The bottom line is: My wife needs more than I can give her. She absolutely ADORES having me fetch things for her, and iron her outfits for work (a chore I have to do tonight, as soon as I sign off the Net), and giving her foot massages. But from day one, she's fantasized about these strong, dark guys who won't put up with her shit like I do. And someday, I know it in my bones, we're going to see my Mistress's fantasy - and mine - come true.
* * *
January 31, 1999
(posted to the Yahoo Cuckold Club)
I'm really looking forward to next weekend. Let me tell you what my wife and I have planned:
Every now and then, we celebrate what we call, "Mistress days." On these occasions, I spend the whole day pampering my wife, waiting on her hand and foot. She usually takes full advantage of her "Mistress days," and keeps me running until my tongue hangs out.
Next weekend, we're scheduled for what's shaping up to be the best "Mistress day" yet!
A little background: For Christmas, I got my wife an all-expenses-paid day at the spa, including a full body massage, full body wax - the works! She made the appointment for next weekend; Grandma and Grandpa will be taking our little boy for the weekend.
After she's finished at the beauty parlor, we're going to hit a bar about 20 miles from our home. This bar is frequented by professional African Americans - Buppies, if you will. (Those who know me are aware that my wife is very much turned on by black men, and she's constantly teasing me about how she's going to find a black lover someday. Although she hasn't yet gone outside our marriage for satisfaction, she seems to be warming up to the idea.)
Anyway, the plan is for Mistress to go dancing at this bar. Now, she knows damn well that I can't dance - so you can imagine what's probably going to happen! I'm very excited, and can hardly wait!
After the bar, we're going to rent a hotel room with a Jacuzzi. We often rent a hotel room on "Mistress days"; my Mistress loves lounging in the Jacuzzi while I give her a foot massage.
I'm only allowed to enter my wife's vagina two or three times a year. Usually, I do like most submissives: I lick her pussy and ass, while she watches a video or reads a Variations magazine. Her favorite fantasy material is that which features black men with white women. As I said, she turns to jelly around black guys - which, of course, gets me off as well!
Although I'm very much turned on by the whole "wimp husband/slut wife" trip, I never used to be hung up on the race of the "stud." In my fantasies, it didn't matter whether the man was black or white. But lately, I've found myself fantasizing more and more about a black man making love to my wife. In my hornier moods, when I'm out in public, I find myself looking at good-looking black guys, knowing damn well that if they really wanted to fuck my wife, they wouldn't have to work very hard at it!
Like I said, my wife hasn't found a lover yet, but lately we've been discussing the prospect more and more. Just last week, she said something that represented a breakthrough when she told me, "if the right man were to come along, and if the circumstances were right, I'd probably do it."
That's a big step; although she's fantasized about making it with a black guy ever since I've known her, and although she's teased me about someday finding a lover, my wife has never come right out and seriously said she'd "probably do it."
To many people, this might not sound like much. But you have to know my wife - when she says something, she usually goes through with it! That's why I'm so excited!!!
* * *
February 21, 1999
(posted to the Yahoo Cuckold Club)
Hi, all. I thought I'd give you the scoop on what happened last night. Although it wasn't exactly the stuff Internet fantasies are made of, it was, I think, an important step in my lifelong submission to my wife.
As I reported here before, my wife spent the day at the beauty parlor yesterday. It was my Christmas present to her: a four-hour-long total pampering, including a full body massage, body wax, a facial - the works. Let me tell you, I nearly flipped when she came home. She looked positively radiant! I still can't believe I'm married to such a classy, beautiful woman, and I thank my lucky stars that I am so blessed.
We started out the evening by going to a nice Japanese restaurant, and it didn't take long before my wife got in the "flirting" mood. She was making eye-contact with a man who was sitting a few booths down, and I saw him checking her out as well.
Having a man ogle your wife in the restaurant may not be quite as intense as watching someone fuck her brains out, but it's still a serious head-rush! The man wasn't lewdly licking his lips at my wife or anything, but he was certainly giving her the eye.
After dinner, we went to an upscale bar. I saw many guys there who fit my wife's "type": Tall, black gentlemen, most of whom were wearing nice suits.
I sat there all night and watched my wife flirt with these men...smiling at them and blatantly looking them up and down whenever they'd walk by. I'd been serving her for so long, I'd totally forgotten how my wife looks with that gleam in her eye - that hungry look of a horny woman. Of course, I was sitting next to her at the table, so nobody actually approached us. But a few of the men my wife was flirting with kept looking over at our table throughout the evening. Every time I'd see my wife smile back at them, an electric jolt ran straight through me.
What must the men have been thinking about me? Here my wife was, blatantly checking these guys out, giving them that "look" and those shy, flirtatious smiles....and I was just sitting there, doing nothing. It was a small slice of humiliation - but a delicious slice, to be certain.
By the way, there were a lot of mixed-race couples at the bar, mainly black men with white women. Seeing them together really turned my wife on!
My wife informed me that the next time, she's going to bring Laura, a friend of ours from the D/s club we belong to. My wife and Laura are going to sit at a table together, while I sit at the bar. That way, the guys she's flirting with won't be afraid to go up to her and ask her to dance. With me sitting there, I suppose it prohibited them from approaching her. Oh, well - we're learning as we go along.
After a few hours, we headed for home. During the drive home, I was sulking a little, because nothing major had happened. I guess I'd built up so much anticipation, anything short of a guy taking my wife home and fucking her was going to be somewhat of a letdown. I know it's stupid to build up my expectations like that, but I'm only human. Now that I've had a few hours to reflect, however, I realize what an important step last night really was.
As soon as we got home, my wife told me to get down on my knees. She then slapped me hard across the face twice and said, "I don't like you moping around! I know why you're doing it. When are you going to realize that we're not here to cater to YOUR expectations?!? I do what I want to do when I want to do it! This is about ME!"
She's right, of course. Actually, I was pretty good about it; I didn't say a word. All I did was sulk a little - but my wife picked up on it, and she didn't like it. She keeps me on a pretty tight reign, so any little thing that displeases her usually warrants a reprimand.
We finished off the evening in usual style: I licked my wife's pussy for more than an hour, and she enjoyed three orgasms while watching an interracial movie (actually, it was one of the Jan B. humiliation flicks). Then, my wife fucked me in the ass with her heel while I played with myself. After I came, I gave my wife a soft rim-job and we fell asleep.
August 2, 1999
An email to my friend 'A'...
Man, did Cassie and I have a talk last week! Let me tell you!
I was in the bedroom serving her as usual, when we started talking. The conversation drifted toward a familiar subject: Black men. Of course, I initiated the topic.
"You watch and see," Cassie said. "It's going to happen, and you'll be sorry."
She sounded like you, issuing her dire warning of, "be careful what you wish for."
Then she said something that has me turned on still. We got to talking about how I'm too docile to fuck her. Only I didn't say, "fuck." Whenever I refer to intercourse in conversations with my wife, I say, "do it to you."
"I just can't imagine some black guy doing it to you," I told her.
She looked at me with a disgusted curl to her lip. "I hate it when you say that - it sounds so wimpy!" she berated me. "'Do it to me!' Listen - if I find someone, he isn't going to be 'doing it to me,' c.w.. He's going to fuck me!"
Then, later on, the subject came up again: "What do you expect? All I hear is how I can do anything I want to, and how it would turn you on if I found a lover! This is going to happen, c.w., and when it does, you'd better not get pissed off or jealous!"
That's pretty much exactly what she said - I remember it verbatim! But the written word simply can't do justice to the inflections in her voice that night. From the way she was talking, I could tell the idea of finding a black lover was becoming more and more vivid in her mind.
Another bit of news: Cassie told me about a conversation she had with her girlfriend last weekend. It turns out my wife told her friend all about my fantasy of having Cassie find a lover. Cassie's friend already knows about my "slave" status - in fact, I served her at a party about 10 years ago. She even spit in my face while Cassie stood by and laughed!
But having Cassie tell her about my cuckold fantasy took it to a new level! I can't believe she told her friend that!!!
Well, this is becoming a book. Hope everything's okay on your end. Talk to you soon...
* * *
Things got quiet for awhile, although we continued talking about the idea of my wife taking a lover....
Tuesday, January 13, 2000
A post to the group...
My wife and I are currently discussing a plan that might allow us to dip our toes into the waters of interracial cuckoldry, a fantasy we both have shared for some time.
As in most femdom relationships, I'm responsible for most of the chores. In the 12 years we've been together, I've never seen my wife scrub the toilet (Scratch that - I saw her do it once, after I'd had an operation. But, that's it! : )
In the bedroom, I rarely get to make love to my wife in the conventional way. In other words, she rarely allows me to fuck her. Maybe 3 or 4 times a year at most. Some years, not even that. I remember one year-and-a-half period a few years back where we only made love once.
But, although we spend 99.99999 percent of our sexual time in our mistress/slave roles, S&M isn't my wife's primary sexual fantasy - it's mine. Sexually, my wife fantasizes about black men. (In fact, she's lived out her
fantasy; a black guy took her virginity in college, and she had affairs with a number of black guys when she was younger). She didn't even know much about domination before I met her.
That's not to say she isn't happy with our current sex life. Why wouldn't she be? She gets treated like an absolute queen.
She pays absolutely no attention to me while I'm worshipping her, unless I'm doing something that displeases her, which isn't often (she's trained me well). After all these years, I've become like an appliance to her, at least in the bedroom. As long as I'm doing the job, she doesn't even think about me.
Then, when she's had her orgasm(s), she'll either roll over and go to sleep, or, if she's not tired, she might sit up and play with me for awhile while I jack off. By "play with me," I mean things like slapping my balls and tweaking my nipples. Sometimes, when she's feeling particularly evil, she'll spit in my face. Other times, she'll get out a vibrator and anally fucks me while I masturbate.
Even during our "serious" discussions, my wife has told me that she's lost a lot of respect for me over the years, sexually speaking. She says there's no way she could ever see me as a viable lover, even though (not to toot my own horn), I'm considered to be quite good-looking. "I just don't see you that way any more," she's told me on more than one occasion. "If you ever did try to come off all macho, I'd just laugh."
Anyway, that's the skinny on the femdom relationship in our household. Now, here's our plan.
We plan to take out an ad, looking for a black man who might be interested in a little phone sex. While I worship my mistress, she can relax and engage in sexy conversation with a black guy; meanwhile, she can continue to watch her interracial movies (with the sound turned down, of course).
I think that would be an important step toward my wife actually finding a lover for real. We've been taking these "baby-steps" for more than a year, thanks to advice by a good friend who advised us to take small steps toward our goal (which is to find a handsome black lover for my wife).
My wife has told me a number of times that, if she ever runs into the right guy, under the right circumstances, she'll most definitely make love to him. So, it really isn't a matter of if it will happen; it's more a matter of when.
I feel lucky, in that my wife and I share the EXACT same fantasy, except from different ends. My wife simply lusts after black men; the domination stuff doesn't really get her off sexually (although, as I said, she enjoys her power to the core).
With me, it doesn't really matter if the bull is black or white. Race isn't an issue in my fantasies, as it seems to be with many authors of cuckold stories. I must admit, though, the fact that my wife gets turned on by black men - and I'm not one of them - is enough to make my cuckold heart thump! : )
Anyhow, that's the plan. I'd like to know what you think. Do you think it's a good idea to introduce a real person - albeit a stranger over the telephone - into our relationship? Of course, we'd have to let him know the nature of our female-dominated marriage. And, of course, he would know that I was slavishly licking my wife's pussy while he sweet-talked her.
I'm getting excited just thinking about it. I hope the reality lives up to the fantasy.
* * *
The next segment is from an email I sent to my friend, “A.” A little background: A few days earlier, my wife decided she was going to dress sexy and go to the mall to flirt with cute guys. And, when she makes up her mind to do something, she invariably does it. Here's what happened at the mall:
March 5, 2000
(posted to the Yahoo Cuckold Club)
Thought you might want to hear what happened during my mistress's shopping trip.
Cassie came home glowing! She spent about five hours shopping, and, when she returned, she seemed like a new woman.
Here's pretty much what she told me: She went to the mall, where a lot of black guys hang out. She said, "let me tell you, it's been so long since I REALLY flirted, I've forgotten how good it feels." She must've REALLY been flirting, because we've went out a few times in the past couple months, and she was definitely flirting with guys.
Anyway, she said she met a guy (black, of course) who worked in the video store. She asked him to find a particular movie (Godzilla). Cassie told me the clerk looked at her and smiled, then blushed. She asked him what was wrong, and this guy said, "I'm sorry, it's just that you're so beautiful. You're exactly what I've been looking for - you're perfect."
Those are the exact words Cassie said he used. I believe it - Cassie is a tall, stunning woman. But you know how women are: They like to hear it from time to time -- and from someone other than their sniveling, groveling husbands (us).
So Cassie is on Cloud 98 right now. This was a tremendous boost to her self-esteem, I think. It was also another big step toward our ultimate destiny.
Tonight, after I worshiped her, I asked if I could make love to her. I usually don't even bother asking, since she always says no. But tonight, I was so horny thinking that another man wanted my wife...
But, of course, she turned me down flat, as per usual. Her exact words were: "No way would you do that tonight. I crossed a line today, and to have you doing that to me would be like taking a step backward."
Funny, but today I wasn't experiencing the totally-humiliated feelings the cuckolds in the stories have. It was more of a happy, submissive feeling; I was happy for my Mistress because one of her precious black men told her she was beautiful. I worked extra hard to please her today. I followed all her orders with a submissive song in my heart.
What turns me on the most, I think, is my wife's utter realization of her power. She knows full well that, if she wanted to, she could go back to that video store tomorrow and take this guy to a motel somewhere.
Confidence is very sexy, and my mistress is feeling very confident right now.
* * *
proceed to PART 2