TRAINING OF CUCKOLD HUSBANDS
Written by Luvr
Cuckold training refers to practical exercises and practices to ensure your cuckold learns and appreciates his role, understands what's expected of him and last, but not least, provides additional avenues for his wife and her Dom or bull to enjoy his cuckolding.
There are several aspects of training a cuckold that have to be explored and while each and every couple has variations to their needs and interests, there are several areas which need to be addressed in some way for each cuckold couple.
Because the rolls of bull and Dom are different, as I define them, I will refer to the role of the outside male as the 'stud'. For those who haven't read my definitions, a bull is primarily only interested/involved sexually whereas a Dom is an experienced dominant who is prepared to explore this lifestyle on a deeper level. A bull can be a Dom, but the reverse is not true.
cuckolds must learn to accept their lack of control over their wife's sexuality
cuckolds must learn to accept their lack of control of their own genitals
cuckolds must not expect sex (intercourse) on their terms
cuckolds must adopt proper behavior toward their wife's stud
discipline is not the same as punishment
discipline reinforces both the dominant and submissive roles
Establishing reward/intimacy mechanisms
cuckolds need and deserve attention
cuckolds need to not be in control of how that attention is expressed
I understand that the material I present here may present a challenge to many couples in terms of implementing them on their own and I expect that, but want you to better understand what the process is and some of the reasoning behind it. When it comes to implementing such training, a wife must either be in an assertive position with her cuckold or have assistance through the support of her stud. Most wives find it much more erotic for their stud to take an active role in training her cuckold.
By definition, a cuckold's wife is free to make her own choices about her sexual partners. For couples in a relationship with a stud, she may have given that authority to him. For most cuckolds, it's even more erotic for their stud to choose who else, if anyone, may enjoy the intimacy of being inside her, but either way, that control is not her husband's.
Cuckolds may try to bargain with their wife to restrict her choices and that's ok, to an extent; extra consideration should always be used when considering a coworker or friend to include in your lifestyle play, but outside those types of considerations, the cuckold should have limited input on who has intimate access to his wife's pleasures.
A cuckold is a non-traditional role of accepting and supporting his wife's intimacy with other men. We therefore can't allow him to enjoy the symbols of masculinity in the same way as the men wives prefer sexually over their cuckold. This means requiring the cuckold to seek permission to do things with his own body that a non-cuckold would take for granted.
A cuckold husband
must never touch himself in the presence of others without permission
must consent to having his penis treated as a toy rather than a sex organ
In many cases, wives avoid exciting their husband for fear he'll want sex if she does. Those of you in relationships where sex isn't gratifying between you and your husband know what I mean. Once you establish that there can be no expectation of sex simply because they are sporting an erection, you open the door to increased physical contact and intimacy. While it may indeed be frustrating for your husband to be frequently teased and left twitching, you'll find he would rather suffer that in order to enjoy both the sensation of your touch and the satisfaction of having pleased you in some small way with his penis.
This also serves as a form of physical intimacy to replace intimacy lost when intercourse is restricted for the cuckold.
Why restrict intercourse? It's a complex issue and though most cuckolds will tell you they would never ask to have their sexual access to their own wife restricted, virtually all of them will agree that it heightened the experience for both them and their wife when it's done.
There are numerous ways to regulate sexual play for a cuckold including what I call passive and active methods.
Examples of passive methods:
specifying that the cuckold can only be inside his wife after her Bull
specifying a particular day in the week/month or even year he is allowed sex
specifying a ratio: for every x number of times the wife enjoys coupling with her stud, her husband gets his turn. a 3:1 ratio or more is recommended.
a roll of dice can determine a number which is then used to determine:
the number of times she can enjoy extramarital sex before allowing her cuckold
the number of days the cuckold must wait before being allowed intercourse
Examples of active methods:
requiring the cuckold to call the stud to ask permission
having to ask in person for permission
use of physical chastity to confine a husband's penis until sex is permitted
One or more of these methods can be applied to establish expectations for both husband & wife as well as their stud, be he Dom or bull. These methods at least allow a cuckold some expectation of when he will receive his reward for being a supportive cuckold.
It's important to note here that just as the cuckold is bound to wait according to the rules, the wife is bound to giving him what he's due at the appointed time.
Being respectful toward a wife's stud is not only expected because of the cuckold's role, but can serve a greater purpose by greatly adding to a stud's level of comfort with his role in the marriage.
A stud should always earn the respect of the couple they are with, so if yours does not, get rid of him.
Discipline is an extension of cuckolding that is most related to the D/s lifestyle. Discipline is the practice of applying bondage, spanking, cbt or other behavioral enhancements as a method of increasing the feelings of submission on the part of the cuckold and the sensation of dominance on the part of both the wife and her stud.
As with respectful behavior on the part of the cuckold toward their stud, the application of discipline in front of the wife's stud can go a long way in demonstrating the nature of the relationship for bulls aspiring to be Doms.
Discipline includes both physical and mental/emotional aspects. A physical discipline is spanking your cuckold or teaching him to kneel at your feet when you are sitting. A mental or emotional discipline might be his denial of intercourse with you - the overt selection of another male over him.
One of the simplest forms of physical discipline is denying the cuckold one of the basics of human pride: clothing. Simply by limiting or specifying the clothing a cuckold wears when attending his wife (and her stud), major behavioral changes can occur. Personally, I prefer the cuckold be kept naked, but that can be overwhelming for most bulls and even many Doms. An alternative is to choose clothing which may cover the cuckold, but leave his aroused state exposed and apparent. This is not only useful for the wife to have ready access to tease her 'toys', but also as a confirmation of his support for her sharing her intimate pleasures with her stud.
A cuckold can say anything, but only his erection is immune to lying.
Discipline also takes more physical forms. This dovetails into the concept of enjoying the cuckold's penis and even his testicles as a toys rather than sex organs. The reason you do this is to further exercise his submission and to enjoy him in new ways.
A cuckold's penis can be subjected to prolonged teasing and denial - often called edging or edge play where he is continually brought to the point of spurting only to be backed off by applying ice or in some cases a measured amount of 'abuse' to his testicles.
A cuckold's bits can be bound by rope or buckled into harnesses. This can be done in addition to other play or simply to make him more available for teasing or torment experienced during CBT play. What is CBT? Cock and ball torment (though some say torture). This is the practice of applying physical discipline or punishment to the very symbols of your cuckold's manhood. Many cuckolds crave mild to moderate forms of CBT, but as with denial, it's much more erotic for them to have to 'suffer' it rather than have to ask or hint for it.
Enforced chastity is also a form of discipline and prevents the cuckold from making use of his penis or even attaining an erection with many devices and attempts at becoming erect are uncomfortable at best and potentially painful. I speak at more length on the topic of chastity here.
Establishing reward/intimacy mechanisms
Intimacy is even more important for a husband who has been cuckolded. This includes both physical and emotional intimacy. What many couples overlook are the numerous ways to enjoy both without including intercourse in the list.
I'm not opposed to cuckolds having intercourse with their wife as long as it's mutually pleasurable, but if a cuckold is the only one getting off when they have sex, then it's really just masturbation using her body.
Couples are used to viewing intercourse as the only way to experience the sexual release, physical & emotional intimacy the need, but I have coached many couples into far greater intimacy and more enjoyable sexual release while eventually completely cutting off the husband from penetrating his wife. I will have to speak about this in depth in another article.
For couples with a Dom, work with him to establish the best methods of rewarding your cuckold. These can include being allowed to watch the sexual activity, being allowed to tag along on dates or even being allowed some form of physical intimacy under the Dom's guidance or while alone. I tend to require the wife to be more responsible for her cuckold's sexual release, teaching her to not only tease her husband on a regular basis, but also jerking him off or letting him achieve his release in other ways I establish for them.