PLEASING A DOMINANT WIFE
This is about how you can go about pleasing your wife, lover, and friend. This isn't going to be about what you want, or even fulfilling your desires. This is about learning to give without conditions and expectations. It's totally about what measures you need to take if you wish to truly please and pamper your loved one.
If you are serious about going out of your way to make her happy, you'll set out to find out the things which delight her. When does she seem happiest to you? Most responsive? You've seen it. That beautiful smile when you see her beam brings a mysterious happiness in all the surrounding energy.
You know what I mean. You've brought her flowers for no reason. Stopped by the store on the way home to pick up a pound of her favorite gourmet coffee, just because. You've gotten out of bed at 6:00 a.m. the day you get to sleep in, to shovel half a foot of snow off her car and start it, so it would be heated when she is ready to leave.
So many of these things most women are accustomed to doing because it is innate for us to nurture and love. Men can do this too. Some men can do it very well with little or no instruction. Others need to be taught. This is for men, which need a little instruction in the pleasure-giving department. First, you have to get into the headspace of where you please your woman on a mental level. Women love conversation.
They love to talk about themselves. Stop and listen for a change. The desire to be celebrated and to celebrate another individual in a deeply satisfying relationship that fosters personal growth and a sense of communion is fundamental to all that is divinely feminine. Ask her questions that lead her to talk more about herself. Find out how she's really doing. Now you can find out if there's anything you can do to make her life easier.
If you have a relationship that is not openly kinky, one that you have hidden your desires from your partner, this is the perfect opportunity for you to serve her without her knowledge. You don't have to scream it from the rooftops, "Hey, I'm submissive." Thereby jeopardizing what is otherwise a wonderful relationship.
Instead, in this way, it will be an unspoken servitude fulfilling your desires to serve, and certainly making your partner extremely happy in the end. If you are in an openly kinky relationship, which normally breeds a much deeper intimacy, this will only bring you closer. Bottom line is, you want to try and deepen the intimacy of your relationship.
Communication is key; you've heard it a million times before. You've probably even heard it from your partner before. If you have indeed heard it from her lips, you really need to stop now and remedy the situation; otherwise, you will only drift apart in the end. If you value your partner and the relationship you share, do it now. Take the time out of your busy workweek and schedule this time for communication.
Don't be mentally and emotionally unavailable; it will destroy your relationship. The more you reach out to her on this mental level, the more she will want to be with you on all other levels; emotionally, spiritually and physically. Women need the mental discourse to feel love.
Believe it or not, by reaching out to her on a mental level, you are actually perpetuating more intimacy on other levels. She talks, you listen, she feels closer to you than ever before, she reaches out and wants physicality or to express deeper emotionality. This works not only when she talks, but when you both share a rapport as well. The more you communicate constructively, the deeper the intimacy becomes.
People communicate on many levels. I'm talking about constructive and satisfying communication, not yelling at one another. You want to manifest a deeper trust in your lives, which is only achieved by healthy discourse. Healthy and normal are very subjective. It means different things to different people. Feeling contentment, satisfaction and happiness is a pretty safe bet you are on the right track.
So you're enjoying long hours of intellectual intercourse, encouraging your significant other to reveal to you the things that make her spirit sing. Make mental note of everything she says. Have these conversations often to re-affirm her pleasure invoking senses and practices.
The best part about this mental stimulation is the care you are showing by your sincere interest in HER. This alone, will propel your relationship to new levels. Women want to be heard. Look into her eyes, stroke her hand, her chin; a loving gesture during your conversation will make her feel at ease and only lend to bring you much closer.
Most important of all, LISTEN.
Don't stare into her eyes and drift off in a daze and daydream. We can tell when your eyes glaze over. Don't look away, it will show disinterest. Focus all your energy on her. You have to find out what she likes. This is really easier than you think.
If the two of you are a new item, long hours of conversation in the getting-to-know-you infatuation stages can bring you great knowledge about the things she loves. Talk to her; find out what makes her soul resonate. If you've been together for years, by now you should already have all the information you need to please.
Does she love flowers? Go out of your way every week to bring her favorite flowers home with you. What are her favorite flowers? Can't afford fresh flowers weekly? Then do it bi-weekly, or monthly at least. Surely $20.00 a month isn't going to break you. If you take a good hard look at the money you spend frivolously, you can afford to stop calling your bookie and betting on football Sunday mornings, or forego the extra case of beer.
You have to make the commitment in your own mind first to please your partner. If you don't do this, it won't even come close to being a sincere gesture. Get a part time job, if this is what it takes. Show her by your actions you mean business! What are all the mundane things she does everyday to keep your lives orderly?
Start watching and then one by one, begin doing them yourself. You pick up the dry cleaning; start doing the laundry and not waiting for her to do it. If you don't know how, learn. Pick up the kids after school; pick up after yourself. Keep your environment clean, if you can't do it, hire a professional to come in and do it. Feed the pets. Make breakfast while she reads the paper in the morning.
There are so many routine tasks done out of habit every day to keep a household running. Set out to make her life easier by doing these everyday chores. You will have a very pleased and contented Queen in your presence. The most essential thing I believe is, for you to become a self-starter. Learn what her needs are and how she likes things done. Every woman runs her household a certain way. Learn these practices and mimic them.
Anticipate her needs by being one step ahead in fulfilling them. Always keep a keen eye around you, paying attention to your environment and the minute details of how it is run. Is the dish detergent almost out? Pick some up on the way home tonight. Will she have enough cream for coffee tomorrow morning?
Anticipate longer-range goals as well. Have you planned what you will do for her next birthday? What about your next Anniversary? Always have little surprises up your sleeve. These needn't even cost anything. Some of the greatest gestures of love and devotion, like the ones we've been discussing, often do not cost a thing.
Leave love notes for her to find in the middle of her busy, stressful day. Put something special for her to find in her lunch bag. Call her up and invite her to a picnic in the park for lunch. If you're going out of town, leave adoring messages for her on her voice mail. Send her an online greeting card to show her how much you miss her. You should be investing a minimum of one to two hours per day in pleasing your Queen; in whatever capacity this takes form.
You should always be thinking ahead and devising plans to bring her greater pleasure. Does she love gardening? Take a trip to your local gardening store together and spend the day puttering around the garden, digging holes, fetching plants and making a connection with the earth. You can spend long hours sitting outside on the patio and watching the life you've both so painstakingly nurtured grow and take pride in the beauty of all that is around you.
Is she fond of antiquing? Make a day trip of going from antique market to antique market, researching beforehand where they are located. Is she cultured? Does she love the arts? Find out what she loves and buy the tickets to attend. Does she just like to stay home and recluse? If she loves to nest, make this evening as special as you can.
Set out to make her a lovely dinner of her favorite dishes. If you can't cook, order in her favorites and set up a candlelit dinner with wine. Take a cooking course. Maybe she loves champagne. Have that chilled and waiting for her when she gets home. Serve her every need. Make sure her glass is always filled. Create a romantic ambiance with lighting, candles, incense, essential oils, and music.
After dinner, allow her to relax while you clean up. Put her legs up on the sofa, make sure she has all that she needs and go about your chores. She may love to have her feet massaged. You can spend hours upon hours massaging her feet and legs or her entire body.
Take a massage therapy course or a reflexology course, which specializes in specific points on the feet and hands. Reflexology is based on the premise that there are zones and reflex areas in the feet and hands which correspond to all body parts. Reflexology reduces stress by generating deep tranquil relaxation. Sensitive, trained hands can detect tiny deposits and imbalances in the feet, and by working on these points, can release blockages and restore the free flow of energy to the whole body. Tensions are eased, and circulation is improved. Her feet will love you for it.
A stress-free Queen is a happy one. Since you're down there, give her a pedicure. Learning the steps of how to give good pedicures and manicures can be picked up rather quickly; get a book if you're completely new to it. Make sure you have a steady hand, and soft lips to kiss each toe once the job is completed.
Get some essential oils that promote relaxation, such as chamomile, lavender or geranium and mix them with a carrier oil. I prefer cold pressed oils such as sweet almond oil or grapeseed oil. But olive oil or safflower oil will do in a pinch. Visit your local aromatherapy store or health food store and pick up these products.
Some of them even have blends, which are already mixed for specific uses such as 'evening relaxing massage', or 'morning wake-up blends'. Be spontaneous and surprise her. Get up early in the morning and draw her a bath.
Wake her gently with coffee and the glorious scents floating in the air from her bath. Use essential oils and rose petals in her bathwater and light candles all around the tub. Kneel at the side of the tub while she luxuriates in the splendor of it all. Soothingly loofah her skin. This will exfoliate her skin to prepare it for shaving. Buy the nicest gels and foams for shaving her skin.
Shave her legs, underarms and whatever part of her body she likes to keep free from hair. She may love to have a clean-shaven temple, or maybe just the underside and likes a little patch of hair on the monds. Wash her hair and give it conditioning treatments.
Always make sure she has all her favorite beauty products on hand. Give her a facial while she lounges in the tub. Place a warm washcloth on her face to open up the pores, and then use an exfoliating cream or cleanser to clean her face.
Have warm towels just out of the dryer waiting for her when she steps out of the bath. Dry her and have some body creams to gently massage into her skin to keep her skin soft and nourished. Treat your partner like the Queen that she is. Honor her and worship her.
You don't know just how lucky you are. Many only dream of being in relationships, sitting at home alone, night after night. You have the opportunity to please most men would die for. Make the most of it, because if you don't, there's always someone around the corner waiting to take over and do it much better! All women like to be pleased physically by different methods.
This is highly intimate and a very personal process. Respect her wishes when it comes to how she requires personal physical pleasure. Ask her a lot of questions. If you've developed the closeness we talked about earlier, she'll be more than happy to share with you how she enjoys being satisfied.
Learn about Female anatomy. I'm sure I don't need to remind you, Women are the only species that have a totally dedicated pleasure center that is used for nothing else but pure physical bliss. Learn how to honor her entire temple the way she likes to be pleasured most. Don't just dive right in either. Take your time and appreciate all that is Feminine.
After your Queen is relaxed and lying down, begin by kissing her toes, licking them one by one and working your way up her legs. Use your hands to caress all of her body slowly and gently. Look into her eyes often. I've never trusted a lover who couldn't look me directly in the eye during moments of deepest intimacy. Kiss her and tell her how beautiful she is time and again; she'll never tire of hearing it.
Cradle her breasts and hold your face on them, kiss them, lick them, nibble them and if she likes, tug tenderly on her nipples. She should be feeling rather amorous and might even be pushing your head between her legs. Begin slowly by kissing the outside of her temple; never rush and bury your face. This should be a coveted ceremony.
You are being blessed with the most treasured temple of your Queen. Listen to her breathing and her sounds.
This should be indication enough to let you know whether you are doing the right thing or not.
It's up to you to identify exactly the precise steps you must take to bring your Queen to ecstasy.
All or none of the above techniques may do it for her. She may have other ideas that bring her fits of heated passion. Learn what they are and do them. Always do them well, taking the utmost in care and love to please her. Be very accommodating to your Queen. When you speak to her, don't cop an attitude. This will drive her away!
The constant push and pull of passive/aggressiveness on your part, if you are prone to this dysfunctional behavior, will create such a rift she will be very untrusting of your motives. Soften up your demeanor; be positive and very agreeable when she asks you to do something. After all, you are submissive, even if she doesn't know you are outwardly.
You may already be in the ideal D/s relationship of your dreams, but if you're not, treating her like your Queen will give you the individual self-training every man should be endeavoring in to please his Goddess. If she were your Domme in every sense of the word, you would have to do everything mentioned above and MORE.
So, why not invest in your education? One day your situation may change. Your partner may find she enjoys your relationship and recognizes the underlying D/s connotations and investigate it further. You may even be daring enough to introduce her to literature describing loving alternative relationships. Anything is possible.
Then again, you may not be able to survive in a relationship, which doesn't realize your deep-seated desires. If that is the case and you drift apart, you may one day find yourself in a relationship with a Domme. Then you'd better be ready to serve! All has not been for naught.
All the time and energy you invested in treating all women up until now as the Goddess's they are, has prepared you for this moment. To truly serve with great pride and knowledge how to be the best possible submissive you can be. Dominant women want to surround themselves with caring, thoughtful and often well-trained submissives.
You will probably catch the eye of a Domme and not be passed up over another less-trained submissive. If you are fortunate enough to find yourself in an ideal relationship, enjoy it thoroughly, for you are one of the lucky ones endowed with the privilege of honoring all which is Divinely Feminine.